I'm really...not having a good time at the moment. This morning I was so weak that when I got out of bed my legs just collapsed beneath me and I just fell to the floor. It took me forever to get dressed as my hands were shaking like something not right. I managed to conceal my poor health from my mam so she didn't worry as she is going down to see my sister and I didn't want to ruin her plans.
So once I was dressed me and my mam went to go and pick Fatimah up to take her to school (as we planned) and I text her telling her we were outside her house and I got a text back saying 'I'm already at school, sorry I forgot to tell you' so by that point I was seriously pissed off.
All morning i had to fight the urge to cry....I've just got so much going on inside my head and my legs have been in complete agony all day and the pain just won't stop.
I now feel sick, tired and very much in pain....I'm so weak I can't even open a door properly right now. To make it all worse I just feel so lonely right now and so guilty that I wasn't there for Destiney when she needed me because of the time difference and because I had to go to my grandma's. I just.....can't cope any more....I really need to talk to her, thats all I want to do...I miss her so much
I'm having a bad day
I wanna kill myself
I wanna go home
And cry my eyes out
I'm having a bad day
I just want to die
I wanna cut myself
Untill I bleed outside

I kind of came up with that while I was at school today....based on that song 'I've had a bad day' or whatever it is..trouble is after the day I've had its all true and thats exactly what I've wanted to do all day
I haven't got anything else to say so I'm going to go.